


Portal Gems AU

by JustaNerdStuckInQuarintine



Category: Portal (Video Game), Portal Gems AU, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: AU, Aliens, Atlas - Freeform, British Character, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Crystal Gems, Diamond Authority - Freeform, Gen, GlaDOS is a diamond now, Male Crystal Gems, Mute Chell (Portal), P-body - Freeform, Portal 2 Spoilers, Science Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Tags Are Hard, Video Game, chell is a human, portal gun - Freeform, robots are gems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28984773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustaNerdStuckInQuarintine/pseuds/JustaNerdStuckInQuarintine
Summary: What is Aperture Science was actually not a corporation, but a band of banished gems, including their rogue leader, the diamond, GlaDOS? And Chell is the last surviving remnant of their robbery of Pink Dimaond's human zoo millions of years ago.
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS, Chell/Wheatley (Portal)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. Courtesy Call

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, ADVICE, AND IDEAS I NEED IT! I want to pleas all of you to the best of my ability!
> 
> (Question: what gem would the fact core be? A cracked pink zircon? Hmmm.)

Chapter One

Upon waking up, Chell had no idea where she was. She could feel a hard surface beneath her, radiating a warm, soothing energy that made her muscles relax against her will. Opening her eyes, she could tell that she was in some sort of pod, glowing a soft, yellow light from the inside. Had she been asleep? What was going on? 

Attempting to sit up, she felt restraints suddenly pull down on her arms, and she struggled, lashing against them furiously. Stopping to take a deep calming breath (the air around her smelled of roses), she looked down to inspect the cords around her arms. 

They were a soft, thin, rubbery material, with a faint pink tinge to them, slippery and smooth. But, try as she might, she could not get her arms from sliding out of them, nor breaking free of her cot. 

Huffing, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes, she laid back, kicking uselessly at the wall in a fury. She had just taken down a freaking  _ diamond _ ! And was probably the first ever human to do so, and here she was, trapped in a bed. Great.

“'Ello?” shouted a muffled voice, and Chell startled. It was coming from outside! “Anybo’y in there?” 

Chell smacked the wall a few times with her foot to reassure whoever it was that she was, indeed, in there. 

“Brilliant!” came the voice again, british and male, and, with a creaking sound and a rush of blue light, the roof of the pod came open and a blue, smiling face came into view. “Yes! I knew someone was alive-AUUGHH!” The gem looked down at Chell’s face in disgust. “AH, oh my go' you look absolu'ely terr-good. Um, you’re looking good, actually.” he amended nervously, wringing blue-gloved hands self-consciously. 

“A-are you okay?” he asked as Chell leapt out of the bed, the restraints having fallen away at the opening of the pod. She could see him fully now, and recognized him as a pearl, with a slim body shape, long nose, and a shining gem on his left cheek, blue as cobalt. His skin was pearly-white (Intend your puns, weaklings!) and he wore navy-blue gloves and boots. His hair was a periwinkle-blue, and huge, round glasses were perched on his nose. 

“Are, are you- actually, don’t answer tha'! I’m actually sure you’re fine. There’s plenty o' time for you to recover!” He gulped, jumping in alarm when the intercom in the ceiling overhead blared, “ **PLEASE PREPARE FOR EMERGENCY EVACUATION** .”

“STAY CALM!” the pearl cried, then smoothed himself over, appearing calm and composed. “Prepare. That’s all they’re saying; prepare. It’s all fine.” 

He patted her head reassuringly and backed out of the room. “Alrigh', don’t move; I’m gonna get us out of 'ere. Oh! You might want to 'ang on to something.” he told her, scuttling out of the room through a sliding door, leaving Chell to look blankly after him. “Word of advice, up to you.” came his muffled voice.

Suddenly, there came a grating, grinding noise and the floor started to sway under Chell’s feet. She quickly looked around the small, box-like room, spotting a closet which she backed into, grabbing the door frame for support.

She watched as a chair flew across the room, breaking into a thousand pieces of alien wood upon coming in contact with the wall, the debris nearly flying into her eyes. 

“You alrigh’ down there?” cried the pearl’s muffled voice, as a vase slipped off of a table and shattered. “Can you hear me? Hello?”

Chell shook her head. Like she could yell back! She was a mute, for Pete’s sake.

Eventually the shaking stopped, and she peeked around the corner to see the pearl come back into the room, dusting off his gloved hands. “Um, most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you’ve,” he swallowed. “Have been under for, heh,  _ quite _ a lot longer and it’s not  _ out-of-the-question _ that you might have a  _ very minor case _ of serious brain damage.”

Chell cocked her head, slightly worried. “But don’t be alarmed!” the pearl said with a reassuring smile ”Al-although if you  _ do _ feel alarmed, try to hang on to that feeling, because tha' is the  _ proper _ reaction to someone telling you tha' you’ve got brain damage.” 

He looked at her. “Do you understand? Does, does any of this, what I’m saying, make any sense to you? A' all?” he asked, and Chell nodded, wishing now more than ever that she could speak so that she could tell him to shut his big fat mouth about her being a mute. “Just say ‘yes’. Okay, just say yes.” 

Not knowing what else to do, Chell jumped midair in frustration, stomping angrily.

“Um, okay, what you’re doing there is jumping. You just jumped.” the pearl said with a strained smile. “But nevermind. Uh, just say ‘apple’. App-le. Easy word. Simple word. A-p-p-l-e. AA-pp-LE.

Chell stomped again, huffing. 

“Okay, you know what? That’s close enough.” sighed the pearl, running his fingers through his hair in annoyance.

An alarm began to blare overhead, and the gem said, “Just hol' tight.”, and scuttled out of the room again. 

Chell backed into the closet again, squatting down and clasping the doorframe tightly.

“ **ALL REACTOR CORE SAFEGUARDS ARE NOW NON-FUNCTIONAL. PLEASE PREPARE FOR REACTOR CORE MELTDOWN** .”

The floor heaved and buckled beneath the human, causing Chell to smack her head against the wall painfully, making her see stars.

“Okay,” came the pearl’s voice somewhere overhead. “So, look, I wasn’ going to mention this to you, but I’m in pre’y hot water here. ‘Ow are you doing down there?”

_ Just fine!,  _ Chell thought sarcastically as a chunk of shattered wall flew by her left ear and exploded behind her.

“The reserve power ran ou’,” the british gem went on, “so, of course, the whole relaxation center starts wakin’ up the bloody test subjects!”

The walls quivered as they smashed into something, swaying and swinging about. “Hold on!” came the cry, and Chell wished that she could make him stop continually chattering. It was really getting on her nerves.

“This is really tricky! And, of course, no one tells me anything. NOOOO! Why should I care abou’ the life-functions of ten-thousand bloody test subjects I’m supposed to be in charge of!” he ranted, seeming to be talking more to himself now.

The walls shook even more, rattling and pitching about, great chunks of wood and metal whizzing about. Chell felt some bile rise up in her throat as a particularly violent lurch sent her slightly airborne.

“Okay, almost there! On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks!” The pearl shouted, “There’s a piece of equipment there that we are gonna need to get ou’ of ‘ere! I-I  _ think _ that this is a docking station. Get ready!”

There was a massive explosive sound, and a sudden smashing made Chell lose her grip on the doorframe and go face-first into the floor, biting her tongue hard enough to taste a bit of blood. “Remember, you are looking for a gun that makes Por’als!” cried the gem, and with one almighty  _ crunch _ , Chell found herself flying out of a hole in the wall and onto a glass pane which gave out beneath her, sending her tumbling down, down, down and onto a concrete floor with an awful  _ smack _ !

“Oh, well, uh, there we go.” came a voice, and Chell shakily looked up to see the pearl looking down at her, smiling awkwardly. “You are probably not in any fit condition to run this type of cognitive test.”

_ Oh, really? _ Chell thought wryly. Shit. Here we go again.


	2. Here we go again.

Chell stepped out of a portal several test chambers later to hear a voice cry out, "Hey! Oi oi! I'm up 'ere!" Wheatley was looking down at her from a railing, his first genuine smile on his face. "Brillian'! You DID find a portal device. You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real 'eroes in the end, aren' they? A' the end of the day. Brave."

Chell sighed. If only she could explain it to him. Oh well. She shot a burst of blue energy at the wall behind the pearl and leapt through. Said pearl wheeled around and smiled again. "'Ere, I want to show you something. You'll be impressed by this."

He scuttled over to a panel with his long, lanky legs and began to do some hacking. However, he stopped when Chell kept watching. He frowned apologetically. "Ummmmm, yeah, I can' do i' if you're watching." 

Chell's eyebrow's shot up. Now, really. This was just too pathetic. She seriously had to be paired up with _this_ lunatic? 

"Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?" he asked politely, clasping his hands as if in prayer and giving her an award-winning grin. Chell just stared flatly, with an almost GLaDOS-like level of disdain. She tapped her foot impatiently against the cold, tiled floor.

"I can't...I can't do i' if you're watching." he laughed nervously, wringing his hands together. 

Chell rolled her eyes and finally did his bidding. If she was ever to get out of this place, she would have to put up with this gem, even if he seemed no more intelligent than a ruby.

"Alrigh', you can turn around now!" he said happily, dusting off his gloves with a flourish. Chell blinked. A panel had opened up to reveal a hidden hallway. Huh. Maybe he wasn't _that_ incompetent.

They slid past the opening and walked along a rickety catwalk, which seemed to be within the walls of the solar outpost, judging by the tubes carrying oxygen to the human test chambers and the pipes pumping different kinds of gels and supplies. Slime dripped down the walls and a crisp, chill wind whistled through the vents in the system. They walked on for what seemd like ages, Chell hunched over the whole way. Her portal gun rested in her hands, like a heavy weight reminding her of all of her past hardships. 

Wheatley skipped on ahead, happy as a spring filly, but stopped with a groan. "Oh no..." They had turned a corner to see tourmaline guard was standing at attention on a pile of broken robotic parts inside a tube. "Hello?" called out the guard in a wispy, unnatural voice, looking around through the sheet of glass separating them from each other. "Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!" Wheatley called out in a friendly tone, but grabbed Chell's bare wrist and whispered fiercely under his breath, "Whatever you do, _don' make eye contact!_ "

They carried on, the sounds of footfalls echoing eerily off of the metal walls. Chell felt a chill roll up her spine. She almost missed the bed that had supplied so much warmth to her for so long. _Almost_.

Wheatley occasionally looked sideways at her over his gem and open his mouth as if he was about to say something, but would then look away with a little shake of the head. But before too long, he held up a hand to stop her. His mind seemed to be made up.

"Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something righ’ now. In order to escape, we are going to go through _her_ chamber.” he said, knitting his brows together in worry. “And she will probably kill us if, um, she’s awake.”

Chell paled. Oh, yes. She would definitely kill them if she was awake! The mad diamond was an unmericiful killer, and she would definitely be looking for revenge after Chell poofed her. 

Wheatley shrugged. “If you want to call it quits, we could just sit ‘ere. Forever. Tha’s an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: go through there, and if she’s alive, she’ll almost certainly kill us. So, if you’ve go’ any reservations about this plan whatsoever, now would be a good time to voice them.”

Sit here? Forever? With this bumbling lunatic? _Voice_ her reservations?

Chell walked determinedly on, deliberately not looking at Wheatley. The pearl had to hurry to catch up with her, shooting the human a small glare of contempt. They reached an open door and pushed through. Wheatley gulped, sweating. Wait, how was that possible? Wasn't he an illusion- “Okay, I’m gonna lay my cards on the table. I don’t wanna do it. I don’t want to go in there!” he rambled off, and for once, Chell had to agree with him. She was a bit nervous too.

But, luckily, when she peeked in through the door, the rogue diamond was still trapped safely in her bubble. 

“Don’t..don’t..oh! She’s off! Panic over! All fine! On we go! If you're okay with it, then I guess I'm fine too!” Wheatley stuttered happily, plastering a wild, crazed smile on his face and powering on ahead. 

Chell rolled her eyes and followed him past the bubble. “Wow, what a nasty piece of work she was, ‘onestly.’ Wheatley frowned, shaking his head sadly. “She used to be a part of the Diamond Authority back on Homeworld. Right between Yellow and Blue in the rankings. Supposedly, that’s why her portals are that color! Interesting, right? But she was tired of living in the lines of the Diamonds’ perfect power, and tried to overthrow White. She failed, obviously, but because of Blue’s mercy, she was sent out on this outpost into the depths of space with a truckload of humans for a recolonization effort and a group of gems who were assigned to her. Guess who one of those lucky guys were?” he pointed at himself sullenly. “Hurrah. However, she did NOT take kindly to being banished, and took her anger out on those poor little humans.”

“But do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You’re not going to believe this: one of the humans!” he cried, eyes sparkling. Chell couldn’t help the tug of pride in her chest. Yeah, she was pretty awesome, wasn’t she?

“Apparently the human escaped and no one has seen him since! Then there was sort of a long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened, and then there’s us escaping now. So that’s pretty much the whole story, you’re up to speed.” Wheatley swatted aside a stray vine trailing down from the ceiling. 

They had reached a shadowed part of the room and the gemstone on the pearl’s cheek began to glow like a flashlight. “Don’ touch anything.” he warned, looking back at her and shining her right in the eyes.

They portaled up onto another platform, which gave way to a large drop of certain doom. “Oh! That’s actually quite a long distance, innit?” Whealtey frowned, rubbing his chin and looking down with a worried expression. “You know what? Go a’ead and jump. You’ve got those braces on your legs. No braces on your arms though-”

Chell leapt down without waiting for him to finish, grabbing onto his wrist and yanking him down after her. He screamed for quite a while, even after they landed. Chell rolled her eyes again, which felt like the millionth time today, and pulled him along the hallway they had fallen into. 

He stopped screaming, thankfully, but let out another shriek. Chell jumped. What?! Tourmaline guards???

“AH! Sorry, sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.” Wheatley laughed sheepishly, rubbing his arm. “AH! I’ve just done it again.”

Not comprehending this incompetent fool, the human turned on her heel and marched along the lower catwalk, the pearl bumbling along in her wake. 

Several minutes later, they made it to a small chute, covered all over with levers and buttons. “This is the main breaker room!” Wheatley explained excitedly. “Look for a switch that says ‘ESCAPE POD’. Alright? Don’t touch anything else! That part's super important.”

Chell nodded in affirmation, beginning to search for said button, but realized that she couldn’t see anything out of the darkness of the room. 

“Can you see it anywhere? ‘Cause I can’t see it anywhere. My gem light isn't enough. Hol’ on, let me turn on the lights.” He turned to a small panel by the floor and did some quick finger-tapping. With a flash, lights came on, nearly blinding Chell in their suddenness. 

“Let there be light!” cried Wheatley with pride. “That was God...uh, I was quoting God there.”

But, with a heart-sinking movement, the thing began to spin slowly. “Oh! Look at that! It’s turning! Ominous. But probably fine. As long as it doesn’t start moving up..” 

Oh, yes. Of course it had to start moving up just then. Chell started to sweat nervously. Wait...if this was the breaker room...and this controlled everything in the facility, including the non-gem bubbles generated... oh holy crap.

Wheatley started rambling out of fear, the pad they were on spinning and ascending, turning on every button and lever within the room. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-

They reached the top with a jolt, and they found themselves in GLaDOS’ chamber. And, unsurprisingly, the bubble containing her popped with a snapping sound. Chell choked in fear.

Light began to shimmer around the huge diamond that lay on the ground, slowly beginning to take the form of a large human, shifting and turning like puddles of liquid light. 

“Okay! Don’t panic, alright! Stop panicking! I can still stop this!" Wheatley blabbered, obviously terrified. “Ahh, there’s a password. It’s fine. I’ll just hack it. Not a problem! Umm..”

GLaDOS' eye was opening up with a canary-yellow glow.

“Okay, okay, new plan!” Wheatley swallowed. “Act natural! We haven’t done anything wrong!”

 _EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!_ Chell innerly screeched, shooting him a look of daggers. There was a burst of brilliant white light, and suddenly, GLaDOS stood before them, with just as much glory as she used to. 

“Hello, my diamond!” Wheatley said, performing the diamond salute and bowing. GLaDOS stayed standing still. Her one, blinding yellow eye traveling back and forth between the two of them, completely devoid of expression. Her gloved hands were clasped behind her back, her booted feet placed next to each other neatly.

“Oh. It’s _you_ .” she sighed in annoyance, tilting her head sideways, so that her silvery hair fell like a waterfall down her shoulders. “ _You know her?_ ” Wheatley whisper-hissed to Chell, who glared up at GLaDOS defiantly. 

“It’s been a _long_ time. How have you been?” the diamond in question asked sweetly. “I’ve been _really busy_ being dead. You know. After you _MURDERED ME?_ ” 

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Whealtey squawked, flapping his arms like a bird, panicked. GLaDOS reached down, her huge hand taking up most of Chell’s view. From the scream of british fear from next to her, she could only assume that her pearl companion had been plucked up too. She felt her boots leave the ground, and she came eyes-to-eye with her most hated enemy. 

“Okay, look.” GLaDOS said calmly, holding Wheatley by his arms so that he was left to dangle uncomfortably. He shrieked and flailed in fear, and Chell couldn’t help but feel her heart go out to him. The poor guy. He may be annoying, but he had only been trying to help, and he was such a good person in spirit. 

“We both said a lot of things that you are going to regret.” she said, a sinister smile on her face. With one, fluid motion, she crushed Wheatley, poofing him immediately. Chell let out a strangled cry. “But _I_ think that we can put our differences behind us.” she continued, tossing his gem to the side with a casual flick of the wrist, as if he was some garbage she had in her hand.

“For science.” came her whisper. “You monster.”

She carried Chell across the chamber, still letting her dangle helplessly, keeping a cold glare on her at all times. The human in her grasp started to quake with fear. This wasn’t how she wanted to go out. Oh please no, oh please, please, please no.

GLaDOS held her above the old incinerator tube. “I must say though, since you went to all of the trouble of waking me up, you must really, _really_ love to test. I love it, too.” she brought Chell right up to her one eye. “But there’s just one small thing we need to take care of, first.” and with an unceremonious motion, Chell found herself plummeting down below to the incinerator room. 


End file.
